Friday

hello no manners

i usually don't come on here to talk about my job...
but today is the day!
i just cannot help myself!
what the hell is with people these days?!
is there anyone left who has manners on this entire planet?

who walks into an establishment with a bikini on,
demands a phone book without a please or thank you
and then proceeds to talk to her snotty-ass friend
about some stuff that doesn't even involve what we do?
the answer to that is:
a girl with no manners.
shortly after that walking abortion of right action,
in comes another award-winning idiot who forgot her license
(but remembered her newborn)
and then gets on the phone with every person
in the surrounding area who just might have her i.d. on file,
including another tattoo shop,
her father,
an old boss,
and a few others.
she's yelling at her dad (i know, so classy)for not finding her i.d.,
and then going down the street to photocopy and fax it!
no one thinks this type of thing is trashy and/or highly inappropriate?
i guess not.
i get that we are a tattoo shop,
but it's still a business...
no shirt, no manners...
no service!

Sunday

stinky sweet baby pie

sometimes i actually listen to what is coming
out of my mouth when i'm speaking to my dog...
and it's ridiculous.
i won't stop,
mostly because i don't think it's possible.
i come from a long line of inane dog talking.
some people do baby talk,
but babies are small humans
therefore making it less cute
to speak to them in that manner.
dogs, on the other hand,
are just furry baby head noodles.
it gets so bad sometimes,
depending on how adorable the animal is being.
it isn't always a dog...
it could be any animal.
it even happens in public with other folks animals.
i got it bad,
and i don't even want to be cured.
i'm okay with it,
i just feel bad for my other half.
embarrassing!

Wednesday

assembly required

i hate seeing that.
i hate assembling...
it's almost no fun.
i purchased a bench for my mud room yesterday
and they told me at the counter that assembly was, in fact,
required.
i feel like it's almost the same thing as telling me it's broken
and needs to be put back together.
i don't feel i should have to pay full price for something
i have to build.

i experienced a different situation, but equally irritating
whilst shopping with a friend a week ago.
she was buying some chairs and the legs were scratched up.
she wasn't about to pay full price for some crapped up chairs...
so, out comes the manager.
the manager very dryly stated that in a situation such as this
taking a black marker to the damage was a perfect solution.
i couldn't help pointing out that the legs of these chairs were brown.
that's keepin' it classy...
nothing like the old marker trick.
i can see if the chairs were already in your own home,
you might do some quick fix action...
but honestly,
no one should leave a store with full priced
damaged goods.
what a load.

Tuesday

so un-vegan

where can you find the sweet sounds of neil diamond
and smell the stank of fresh paint?
my house of course!
i also threw in some rolling stones,
but no, i didn't paint it black...
it's a refreshing tinted white.
it's all happening this morning.
i got up early to finish this bathroom project...
it's waaay to nice out to spend it all indoors!

i did discover some undesirables whilst doing this project.
ants.
as a vegan weirdo it's hard to decide what to do in this situation...
but i made the decision to kill them.
there was entirely too many of these house destroying guests.
they weren't those harmless little sugar ants
that hang around the trash in the kitchen.
i don't like the idea of insects eating my house.
ew.

Monday

singing in the rain

i don't care if it rains today...
it's been downright balmy,
and i like it.
the windows are open and everything smells fresh...
or it did until my neighbors had their septic pumped.
i was enjoying the new spring smells...
and bam!
poops.
infinitely less appealing then new leaves and flowers.
thanking the stars for the breeze
that carried the stench into someone else's yard.
it looks like a storm might be brewing...
but i enjoy a thunderstorm and so does hubby man.
i'm working today,
so i'm hoping for productivity...
and money.

Sunday

don't hassle me, i'm local

seriously.
vacation people are sooooo irritating.
with their faces.
ugh.
i half expect the human race to start regressing completely.
crapping on sidewalks and in department stores.
i feel as though it is now socially acceptable
to pimp out your young offspring as well.
it all sounds adorable, i know...
but in reality nothing is a cute about a nine year old
wearing pants with "cutie" written on the ass.
it's gross.
it's trashy.
it's also everywhere.
i don't mean to sound like a thousand year old,
but does anyone know what class is anymore?
i'm not talking about the thing teens skip
so they can smoke in the bathroom
and dry hump their boyfriends at their locker...
i just sayin'.
get some b*tches.

Tuesday

holly made me do it

i haven't blogged,
i know.
holly was upset about this
and was on strike from her own blog
until i got back into mine.
i cannot be responsible for that so here i am!
i was telling my dear holly the other night
about how i think of blogging all the time,
i just don't actually do it.
i was also discussing "man leavin's"
with her.
ladies, if you have a man and you don't know what this means
then please go directly into your bathroom and scan the floor
(sinks or toilets will suffice)...
you will most likely detect "man leavin's".
usually these leavin's are a direct result of shaving or shedding...
and in most cases
they are usually in the form of some sort of hair.
that's right babies...
pubes.
my husband man
informed me of what they were just recently.
i had inquired as to why and how a mass of hair
formed on an area that had been clean(and hairless)
prior to his visit to the bathroom.
his response was this...
"man leavin's"
that is all.